my name is Janos

ive been neglecting this blog for AWHILE, then I remember to come here and remind myself. THEN i get to thinking, THEN i have to blog again. what vicious cycle of thought blogging. But I guess, in a sense, this is why I made a blog, to write down something I was thinking and come back to it from time to time. The month of may is already over and I cant/can remember where the time went. Needless to say there was plenty of unexpected surprises and quite possibly one of the best 2 weeks spent. (Eurotrip, mothersdays, SF, MDW)

But with everything in my life going the way it should be, I cant help to be feeling lost lately? for quite sometime; I don’t know how to explain it, almost a lingering feeling that wont go away.  i dont know where it is coming from; i was confused and almost scared at first. but it turned into something i enjoy..... call me weird.... but life cant be all roses and sunshine ALL the time right? you need chaos and manageable discord. sometimes you dont like feeling lost but sometimes you do... its like excitement for the unexpected future...

anyways I do know one thing though. I know that my relationship with myself and others cannot be solely motivated/fueled/depended on me alone. I need help. I need to ask for help. And lean on my friends and family more importantly the man upstairs.  My spirituality cannot be running on just random thoughts and random articles I find, but active participation with everyone around me including church and GOD. Religion is always a tough subject to write about for me and here it is. I always pray and seek for a much greater good and happiness for my family, friends and myself. that I involuntarily help those who need, and allow my hubris to be set aside and be helped.

Like most of my blog posts, idk what I said half the time, I just let my mind just spit out whatever.. I guess that’s why its here J

Browsing the web and found a gem of a mike rowe from dirty jobs writing a response to a fan, asking about life/job choices. The last 2 sentences written.

“Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way the feel. But trust me, Parker. Those people are mistaken. That was a big lesson from Dirty Jobs, and I learned it several hundred times before it stuck. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.”

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